Jessica Kane | Straining to Parallel Park in an Empty Field

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Spoken Word: Storytelling Spoken Word: Audiobook Moods: Mood: Funny
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Straining to Parallel Park in an Empty Field

by Jessica Kane

This is a collection of funny, honest, and thought-provoking short true stories that mostly take place on errands, in the privacy of the author's brain, and with the uniquely insane people in the author's life.
Genre: Spoken Word: Storytelling
Release Date: 

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1. Title
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2. The Cat and the Bat
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3. Chris
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4. Matt Damon and the Fly
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5. My Bathroom Mirror
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6. The Man in the Mack Truck
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7. People Are Afraid of Silence
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8. Bald
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9. Toes
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10. Good And Damaged
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11. What I've Learned About Myself In Traffic
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12. Regina and the Bishop
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13. Overweight People
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14. Sometimes It's Important To Travel
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15. Visiting Mother at the Sunrise Inn
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16. The Claw
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17. The Ornery Man in the B.H.U.
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18. Paella Breakthrough
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19. O.C.D.
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20. Stuffed Snake
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21. Fire
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22. Bill Stewart
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23. I Saw a Couple Good Things
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24. Formless Doppelganger
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25. Being in the World
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26. I Like To Eat
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27. Quick Change With Fat Banker
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28. Eating Walnuts
2:03 $0.99
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29. When You're a Kid
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30. Cat's Ass
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31. Me and Bob
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32. Bike Ride
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33. I Wish I Were A Prostitute
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34. Sir
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35. Egg Fu Yung
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36. St. Patrick's Day
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37. Pre-Dinner Theater
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38. Tally My Ass
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39. Rip Van Winkle
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40. Jessica Kane's Elitist Dictionary
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41. Sliding Across Tile Floor
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42. Chris and the Ski Lift
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43. A Poem About My Car
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44. Getting Gas
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45. Mother and the Suicidal From Unit 12
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46. Craig Meroni
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47. Flying To Chicago
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48. Sagging Creature of Death
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49. Rapid Death Syndrome
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50. Fuck the Guru
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51. The Bee Costume
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52. Kane's Kale
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53. Cat Scratched
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54. Shit Machine
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55. There's No Time To Count To Infinity
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56. Savory Rice Pudding
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57. Another Night at the Sunrise Inn
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58. The Girl Who Woke Up Ugly
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59. My First H.I.V. Test
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60. Why Am I Ashamed?
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61. The First Time I Fell In Love
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62. V.D. From Clothes
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63. Whiches
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64. Maxipads
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65. Never Be Ashamed
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66. Stolen Cell Phone
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67. Ghosts
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68. Talk Till You Communicate
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69. Suffering
1:14 $0.99
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70. Lost Files
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71. Eavesdropping In Cafe
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72. Take The 'K' Out of Like
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73. Strip Club
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74. Trying To Be the Best
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75. Mona
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Downloads are available as MP3-320 files.

ABOUT THIS ALBUM


Album Notes
Straining to Parallel Park in an Empty Field is a collection of funny, honest, and thought-provoking short true stories. I called it Straining to Parallel Park in an Empty Field because of the way I tend to make my life so life much more difficult than it probably needs to be.
Basically, over the course of a year, I documented the everyday goings-on in my life. I’ve just always thought what a shame it is that all these priceless everyday moments fall through the cracks without being appreciated…
So what I did is try to rescue them, by placing them carefully in my notebooks.
I wrote down the conversations I had with my uniquely crazed but brilliant mother, and my loving but major-slob-of-a-husband. I wrote down the things that happened on errands, on the street, at work, and while driving. I wrote about all the irritating, ridiculous dramas that came and went. Sometimes I wrote about my past or I wrote about the voices I heard in my head, or the neurotic thoughts that kept me up at night.
And when all was said and done, what I began to discover is that inside every moment, no matter how seemingly inconsequential, there existed a little gem waiting to get noticed.
The collection is approximately 5 hours long, and is performed by me.
It was mastered by Ivan Evangelista.
And the artwork was painted by Tyler Watson.


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