Aurelio Voltaire | Bitrektual

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Rock: Comedy Rock Folk: Drinking Songs Moods: Mood: Funny
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by Aurelio Voltaire

Set your phasers for naughty for the most hilarious and bawdy collection of Star Trek and Star Wars parody songs this side of the Delta Quadrant! Sure to make you shoot Klingon Blood Wine out of your Jedi nose!
Genre: Rock: Comedy Rock
Release Date: 

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  Song Share Time Download
1. Bitrektual (feat. Jason Charles Miller)
5:02 $0.99
2. The Trouble (feat. Tribbles)
4:42 $0.99
3. Screw the Ocampa (Bitrektual Version)
2:14 $0.99
4. The Sexy Data Tango (Bitrektual Version)
3:23 $0.99
5. The U.S.S. Make Shit Up (Bitrektual Version)
5:50 $0.99
6. Poopin' On the Enterprise (a Monologue)
1:57 $0.99
7. Worf's Revenge (Bitrektual Version)
3:15 $0.99
8. Yoda (a Monologue)
2:03 $0.99
9. Cantina (Bitrektual Version)
7:36 $0.99
10. Damn You, George Lucas (A Monologue)
1:55 $0.99
11. Docking Bay 94
4:51 $0.99
12. It's Bigger On the Inside
3:58 $0.99
13. Expendable
3:41 $0.99
14. Bitrektual (feat. Robert Picardo)
5:02 $0.99
Downloads are available as MP3-320 files.


Album Notes
The sexual virtues of Data are sung, Tribbles are deflowered, Worf reveals what other parts of his body are ridged and Luke is horribly violated by every monster in the Cantina in this unbridled, X-rated romp through the Star Trek and Star Wars universes. Prepare to laugh uncontrollably as your childhood is blasted like Alderan into a million pieces!

Years ago while at DragonCon in Atlanta, Georgia, Aurelio Voltaire (formerly "Voltaire") entered the "Filk" room and came out transformed! His love for Star Trek and bawdy, drinking songs collided and the result was a 4-song EP called "Banned on Vulcan" that included the now classic "Sexy Data Tango", "The USS Make Sh*t Up", "Worf's Revenge" and "Screw the Ocampa". That CD has been out of print for some time now and Voltaire decided it was time to do something about it. However, rather than just rerelease it, he's rerecorded those four songs with a full band and written a bunch more Star Trek, Star Wars and even a Doctor Who song to add to the mix. The outcome is an absolutely hilarious collection of bawdy parody songs definitely not for kids, clergy or Cardassians!

Star Trek Actors Join Voltaire to Boldly Go Where No One Has Dared To Go Before!

Joining Aurelio Voltaire on this hysterical away mission are Garrett Wang, Tim Russ and Robert Picardo (Ensign Kim, Tuvok and the holographic doctor from Voyager respectively). Garrett Wang and Tim Russ sing back-up with hilarious results on the Voyager campfire song "Screw The Ocampa". Robert Picardo lends his talents to the bonus title track "BiTrektual" as well as plays Biggs Darklighter from the Star Wars saga on the wonderfully showtuny "Expendable", an epic battle between a Star Trek redshirt and Star Wars stormtrooper. Also on that track playing a Star Fleet officer are Tim Russ and Godhead lead singer, Jason Charles Miller as a stormtrooper. Jason Charles Miller also kicks off the album on the title track, "BiTrektual".

It's the most out-of-this-world, pervy fun you'll have outside of a wormhole!



to write a review


Out of this world
I was lucky enough to hear Voltaire preform them live at DragonCon. It is a must buy for any Star Wars, Star Trek and Dr Who fan. Let your Geek flag fly and buy this Album.


Funny, amusing, and dark
As long as your a non-rabid fan of either of the Stars, you'll enjoy it.


Finally something my mother and I can listen to together xD
I was born into a family who is bitrektual (honestly didn't know to recently that the fans argued) so this album was one of the coolest things ever. Plus we ALL have a pervy sense of humor so this album was a great time. I listen to it almost every day.
Live long and prosper, may the force be with you, may the time lords keep you, never give up and never surrender. XDXD
This album did remind me how much of a nerd I was.


Buy this! Buy it now! This cd is perfect for road trip sing-alongs. It is perfect to listen to on your way to work - no matter how shitty the job, you will definitely have a smile on your face when you walk in the door. You will laugh so hard and find yourself singing random lyrics in completely inappropriate places (which, of course, is half the fun!).


The old made new
If you have the old album "Banned On Vulcan" Its still worth getting this one. Voltaire spruced the old songs up with new instrumentals and a few extra verses making the old songs spit shiny new. On top of that 9 new songs that should tickle you in places you forgot existed. Just be sure to get the CD. The mp3's have horrible audio quality.

Bunches McGuinty

I'm a bitrektual member of the Star Alliance... and I have a TARDIS tat on my ankle. So I think my review should hold some clout: NERDGASIM. What is not to love? Trek, Star Wars, DOCTOR WHO, Guest singers and bonus track (that is now my text notification sound). Its a song of Love, and sex (well, there is the slathering up of poles) and all the scifi you could ask for. ALL done by one of the best artists out there. buy it now, buy it here and help support the Artist. (And if you are lucky enough to be in a town he performs in... GO GO GO!)


fandom nerd rock from one of the best!
If you enjoyed "Banned on Vulcan," this will make you incredibly happy. It's definitely more polished. I think my favorite part of the older songs is the different musical arrangement, awesome intros. This album has such a different feel than his usual, it's just fun, happy.. and best of all very nerdy. I'm also quite pleased with the Doctor Who song "It's bigger on the Inside" not only for a nod to the Who fandom, because Voltaire is one of those artists that actually ask input from fans and listen to what they say. (Seeing the song get built over facebook/twitter was pretty fun.) This is a fantastic album, I can't wait for the next.