Beatnik Turtle | Santa Doesn't Like You

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Beatnik Turtle's (now weekly) podcast with a free new song every week Beatnik Turtle Apple iTunes Tradebit GreatIndieMusic PayPlay Nexhit GroupieTunes PassAlong MusicIsHere Audio Lunchbox MusicIsHere Bitmunk

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United States - Illinois

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Holiday: Pop Pop: Beatles-pop Moods: Mood: Christmas
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Santa Doesn't Like You

by Beatnik Turtle

Tell the holidays to JINGLE THIS: hear the un-holiday album that was played on Dr. Demento and at the world-famous Second City. Includes "Coed Naked Drunk Christmas Shopping" and "Smokin' The Mistletoe."
Genre: Holiday: Pop
Release Date: 

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  Song Share Time Download
1. Make My Christmas Bright
3:17 $0.99
2. Santa Doesn't Like You
2:18 $0.99
3. Christmas Cake
3:15 $0.99
4. Take It Down
2:53 $0.99
5. Christmas Is A Vulture
3:21 $0.99
6. Goin' Through The Motions This Christmas
3:26 $0.99
7. Tippin' Over The Christmas Tree
3:04 $0.99
8. Coed Naked Drunk Xmas Shopping
2:43 $0.99
9. Merry Christmas (These Are Words)
2:03 $0.99
10. Christmastime (Turn To The Children)
3:49 $0.99
11. Closer (To Claus)
3:53 $0.99
12. Smokin' The Mistletoe
7:36 $0.99
13. Santa
3:40 $0.99
14. The Morning After Christmas
1:58 $0.99
Downloads are available as MP3-320 files.


Album Notes

"...low comedy, parody, biting social commentary and
just-plain-weird-assed wackjobbery." -Splendid Zine

As heard on Dr. Demento and at Chicago's Second City, Beatnik Turtle's "Un-Holiday" opus "Santa Doesn't Like You" is bursting with 14 original songs that incorporate the band's knack for contagious melodies, clever wordplay, and varied musical styles.

From the quirky "Coed Naked Drunk Christmas Shopping" to "Take It Down" -- a song that one reviewer called " inspired dressing-down of the neighborhood yutz who can't seem to take down his Christmas decorations 'til May."

Beatnik Turtle delivers some memorable holiday juxtapositions, including the requisite visit from St. Nick, in the epic story song "Smokin' The Mistletoe," that recounts what happens when you don't just say "No!" to mistletoe.

If the holiday "cheer" has pushed you to the point of punching out the nearby Salvation Army bell-ringer, then Beatnik Turtle's "Santa Doesn't Like You" is for you.

"Santa Doesn't Like You" makes the perfect un-holiday gift and is a fun alternative to same old music that's overplayed each season.


For more information about Beatnik Turtle (including free music!), visit or



to write a review

The Funketeer

Lot's of fun. Soon to be a holiday classic.
I first heard these guys on Dr. Demento last year and decided to visit their website. After listening to a few more songs there, I decided to buy the CD and I wasn't dissapointed. The music is generally uptempo and fun and it's especially nice to listen to during those moments when you're maybe just a little tired of all the holiday hustle and bustle. Take it Down and Santa Doesn't Like You are probably my tracks but it's all good.


These guys rock!!
This CD is so much fun. Being Jewish, the Christmas season has always gotten on my nerves. Now I have a CD to combat the crappy holiday music!! 'Take it Down' is a fantastic song, it should be played at top volume during the month of March to those who still have their lights up.

Shannon Prickett

Catchy, clever, contagious.
Great uptempo songs about this warm and mandatory holiday. The ideal antidote for all the chirpy annoying muzak you'll endure from late October well in to January. Exceedingly diverting lyrics and fine instruments, great combination of songs. If Christmas did not exist for Beatnik Turtle to critique, it would have to be invented for that purpose.


My holiday album!
After having to ride in the car year after year to the relatives, I had enough of listening to feliz navidad and all the rest of it. This last year I popped this in and as my mom said, "what is this?" I got to reply "MY Christmas music" Each song is from its own place hard to believe all of this came from one group. Full of Satire and Humor I rate this near the top of my must have list. Songs about Stalkers bearing gifts, coed naked drunk xmas shopping, and a parody of closer to god will keep you smiling.