Bedlam Bards | Take Out the Trash

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Folk: Traditional Folk World: Celtic Moods: Mood: Funny
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Take Out the Trash

by Bedlam Bards

These are the dirty songs your mother warned you about. It's all here: bondage, discipline, dragons eating virgins, and of course the clap. EXPLICIT LYRICS
Genre: Folk: Traditional Folk
Release Date: 

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  Song Share Time Download
1. The Drunken Virgin Jig Set
7:43 $0.99
2. Maids, When You're Young, Never Wed an Old Man
5:05 $0.99
3. Bell Bottom Trousers
3:38 $0.99
4. Oh, How the Money Rolls In
3:32 $0.99
5. The Scotsman/Donald, Where's Your Trousers
4:23 $0.99
6. Zulaika/Romantanask
5:43 $0.99
7. Black Leather Band
3:53 $0.99
8. O Lassie, Come Beat Me
4:23 $0.99
9. Wild Rover (Bill Palmer's Version)
3:26 $0.99
10. The Ball of Ballinor
4:00 $0.99
11. Crayfish
3:09 $0.99
Downloads are available as MP3-320 files.


Album Notes
When Hawke and I decided to make our first album, we had a solemn artistic choice before us. We could draw on everything we'd learned in our years of traveling the world, making music, changing lives, and growing spiritually to create a work of art that would be at once mournful and joyous, moving and celebratory, evocative and mysterious.

Or we could just record a bunch of dirty songs.

We went with the dirty songs, and the result is the Bedlam Bards' Take Out the Trash!

You may have heard Celtic albums from Windham Hill, the kind with lots of synthesizer and lush harmonies--you know the kind of thing your massage therapist puts on right after she lights the aromatherapy candles.

This is NOT that kind of Celtic album.

This is Celtic music with testosterone. This is dirty songs about bondage interspersed with authentic Renaissance dance tunes. This is hard-driving jigs layered into tankard-clanking drink-alongs, whipped into a solid frenzy, beaten until peaks form, and baked at 450 degrees. (Serve with Guinness.) This is the best hour you ever spent laughing your ass off despite being stuck in stop-n-go traffic. This is not your father's Celtic music.

So if you want to experience the songs that have inspired countless couples to explore new techniques in the bedroom, the music that has inspired thousands of busty wenches to tuck money in their bosoms for us to pull out with our teeth, the music that inspired seven scantily-clad wenches to tie themselves to a tree and whip one another right in front of our stage, the music that made at least one young woman I know realize she wasn't the only girl in the world who liked to be spanked, then this album is for you!

If not, then you're just not interesting enough to look at this page, and you have to go away now. So there.

Of course, if you're fun enough for this album, you'll probably want the whole Bedlam Bards collection, so check out our other albums:

On the Drift: Music Inspired by Firefly and Serenity

Furious Fancies



to write a review


HuZZah! (May 2008)
Thanks the stars & heavens! I'm glad to find that these most Wonderous songs were available for download as MP3' poor CD has been to so many faires and overplayed. This CD was the instigation of much mischief...lets just say that when I'm old and gray, I'll have lots of great memories!


Of course the CD is awesome, but I already knew that. What I really want to comment on is how great CD Baby is to order from! Keep up the good work!


Wonderfully bawdy... fun to listen to. Some of my old favorites from my days on the Ren Faire circuit. This is a new favorite CD for not only me, but my family and friends as well.


I'm not alone!!!!
This is my 2nd copy of Take Out the Trash. I wore out my first. Several songs from this cd were competing with each other in my head this morning...Beat Me, Wild Rover, Black Leather Band. I can't hear someone else singing Wild Rover without shouting Right up your kilt! because of this cd. A favorite thing to do is crank up the car stero, open the windows and moonroof while it's playing. Yeah,I get a few looks. I've missed a few exits because of it but that's ok.


Loved it! Missing a couple songs though.
Great CD! What happened to the has anybody seen my cock, or the rooster song? Hope I can find the MP3 here on your website to download, thanks!


Full of filth!
This is the first time I've read this entry and realized that I was mentioned in it. I'll leave it to your listeners to figure out where.

I loved TOTT the first time I bought it (way back on cassette tape!) and still love it now.


Racy fun!
An entertaining collection of songs for those of us who like the NC-17 things in life. The mood is racy and fun, not nastily crude. Sequel please? There's lots more bawd out there - let's hear it, Bards!


Love it!!!
I love this CD, it so much fun, keep up the great music. I can listen to this to tide me over till next Ren faire season!

Raven The Archer

was an awsome CD I highly recomend it to anyone in the SCA
Great CD for SCAidians and Non SCAidians alike.was great to be able to hear all my fave songs again.I start all my SCA event travels with this CD and sing along to them and even do some of the songs at the Bardic Circles.