Jefferson Montoya | Pinnochio Wishes

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Pinnochio Wishes

by Jefferson Montoya

The third solo release from the intense and emotional Jefferson Montoya, this album is about all the lies that we tell to ourselves and others in our romantic relationships.
Genre: Easy Listening: Adult contemporary
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  Song Share Time Download
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1. But She's Gone
5:18 $0.99
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2. 10th Last TIme
3:06 $0.99
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3. All I Never Had (Ms Hemmings)
4:13 $0.99
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4. Don't Think of Me
3:18 $0.99
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5. Just Leave
3:31 $0.99
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6. Pinnochio Wishes
3:28 $0.99
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7. SUAK Me
3:50 $0.99
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8. The Sun
3:55 $0.99
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9. Holdin' On
3:24 $0.99
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10. Found You
3:31 $0.99
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11. Don't Think of Me (Extended)
5:04 FREE
Downloads are available as MP3-320 files.

ABOUT THIS ALBUM


Album Notes
(Full Color Digital Booklet Available Jefferson' Official Site.)


All Songs & Parts Written & Performed By - Jefferson Montoya
Produced by: J. Montoya
Executive Producers: CiM, E. Douglas, Mark Olsen
Cover Art by: J. Anichowski (www.janichowski.com)
Photos by: Karen Park

The Story of the Album
This is actually the second time the album has been “finished”. Recording of the project began in the Spring of 2011 and was completed by June of the same year. That version of the album was recorded with a producer and engineer, neither of whom shall be mentioned by name, who had an incredibly different vision than I did. None of the work present in these recordings is from the hours spent working on that incarnation of the album.

Some of the songs; But She’s Gone, Holdin’ On and Found You, were not part of the initial project. They replace songs that I hope to put on the next album like Stealin’ Away, I Lied and An Apology.

After the debacle of the first recordings I decided to turn around, begin again, and record the album from home. This caused some interesting limitations but resulted in some very fun and inventive solutions. The massive “drum” on All I Never Had (Ms. Hemmings) is actually my Dillion acoustic guitar, turned upside down with my webcam inside it while I beat upon it with gloved hand.

Why have an extended version of Don’t Think of Me? It’s deliciously 80’s, that’s why!

As with To Be Determined. . . there is no use of auto tune on this project. Yes, sometimes the pitch slips around, but that’s called reality. I did, however, use more punches and retakes on this album.

When I was in the 7th grade I began keeping a journal. It is a habit that continues to this day. In April of that school year I wrote, “I’ll be Pinnochio would lie his face off if he could get away with it. . .” Spelling of his name aside, it seems to be a very accurate assessment of human nature. Of course he would lie his face off. And, really, who wouldn’t? More accurately, who doesn’t?
This album is about all the lies that we tell to ourselves and others in our romantic relationships. The fibs that help us plan surprises, the failure to say what we really mean, the out-right deceit of infidelity. . . all the lies poor Pinnochio (yes, I am keeping the spelling error alive) wishes he could tell and get away with it.
There is just one song that is an exception from that concept; there is no lie in The Sun.
Peace & Song, Jefferson M

Very Special Thanks to:
Ms. H – You have been an inspiration and I hope for you only the best. Without our conversations I could never have organized my thoughts into these lyrics. It is so rare to know someone who can understand what I am saying even as I stumble over emotion, vocabulary and my own foolish doubts. Thank you for “getting” me and for being real.

My Long-suffering Maji & Maes – I know sometimes music competes for my time and attention. I hope, though, that you are learning to get a real job and not chase your dreams. Wait.. that can’t be right? I could not possibly love you more or be more proud to know you.

MNF BD Crew (Athan + Hanks’) – I’m so lucky to have true friends who continue to love and support me even after they see how big an ass I really am. Lance – Your wisdom, patience and willingness to let me whine in your general direction is the epitome of friendship.

Moms – When one simply isn’t enough! I love you and cherish your constant parental presence.

Karen – Thank you for the extra studio time and the photos, I consider your friendship a greater, though less visible, gift. Mark, Cyndi and Em – Thank you for believing in the project and picking up my slack.

Jennifer – I just want you to know that your art made me work so much harder to produce music worthy to be
associated with it!

The Thomas’ – I love how much I love you people! I really want to grow up to be just like you. Thank you for showing me, repeatedly, that the best of mankind exists even if sometimes it gets concentrated into one small family.

K – Thanks for inspiring me to play better, for reminding me that I’m not half bad at this music thing and for the use of your guitar when my own guitfiddles wouldn’t cut it.

T – I love that we are friends.

My New-Found Siblings – Meeting you has been a massive blessing. I can’t be all bad if I share genes with ya’ll. Can I?

Mrs. M. – Thank you for teaching me how to not abuse my voice. It may not sound like it on these tracks but there is a lot of Carol Ann in this new sound of mine.

And, of course, Claudia Bigler and Scott D. Stanton – You saved my life and I hope with each project to avoid your coming to regret that. ;-)

Friends, Fans and Frands – Every show ticket, download and cd you buy makes it possible for me to pursue the madness that is being a musician.

Lyrics:
==But She’s gone

He checks every single message that touches her phone
Gotta her so close can’t trust her to be alone
He says “It’s cause I love you so much but I think if you had a choice
Why wouldn’t you’d be running off with all the better boys?”
And she’d never have thought that if he hadn’t planted the seed
He keeps a sharp eye, stays by her side
Never lets her out of his sight but she’s gone
He keeps a short leash and a tight rope
Keeps everything under control but she’s gone
She’s right in front of him but she’s gone
She’s gotta stay, got the kids, can’t just run away so fast
But every day of this makes her wonder how will she last
Maybe she could get lucky and he’ll do the leaving part for her
She tells him she’s not happy he says, “I can make that work.”
And the more things do not change the more she accepts
they’re always gonna be same
He doesn’t have a clue
Looks at the ring on her hand strikes her as the band of a slave
She’s gonna have to serve this man till she rests in her grave
But she’s done being true she starts to dream of another man
His suffocating love kills everything so she takes her happiness where she can
She’ll languish like she’s his but her heart has already moved on.

Maybe he just doesn’t want to have a clue.
Which lie is worse?

==10th Last Time

Comin’ home to your face for the 9th last time
Swallowin’ whole the disgrace that’s been 8 times mine
And I can’t admit or cut to the quick of it
This just is not where I want to be for me
Can’t pack up or settle in and I’ve been here forever
Won’t back down, must give in, I failed to break the tether
And I can’t admit, or cut to the quick of it
This is just not where I want to be for me
Running away takes one braver than I
I can’t greet this goodbye
Because of you, because of me
This is not what I wanted to be
And I can’t admit, or cut to the quick of it
This is just not where I want to be for me
Comin’ home to your face for the 10th last time

Yeah, you keep telling yourself that.
See ya on the 11th Last Time. . . and 12th.. and...

==All I Never Had (Ms Hemmings)

I can always see her, but she’s never in sight
And I’m not so supposed to So I guess that’s alright
‘Cept that it’s not I couldn’t hate this more
I guess my heart is done for
I’m surrounded by her and I need her so bad
Guess what goes around doesn’t always come back
And all I’m missing is all I never had
We have our past, we have our history
Dreams that never were and love that can not be
‘Cept that it must and I couldn’t want this more
There’s too much to hope for
I’m surrounded by her and I need her so bad
Guess what goes around doesn’t always come back
And all I’m missing is all I never had
I’ve no broken heart, It’s all together and so dedicated
We’re so far apart, Not sure whether it’s me that’s waited
Is she surrounded by me
Like I’m surrounded by her and I need her so bad
Guess what goes around doesn’t always come back
And all I’m missing is all I never had

. . .unless, of course, I’m missing more?

==Don't Think of Me

And so the clock has run itself right out, the sands have all gone to the bottom
Lost hope, you’ve given into all your doubts, blind folded the dreams and shot ‘em
Now it’s bitter sweet more the former than latter
I’m a memory that one day will not matter
If you think of me at all when you look back
Well, don’t think of me, don’t think of me at all
Tell me the lies I could love yesterday they keep me from cryin’
And we both know what the truth is anyway but it slows down my dyin’
Now it’s bitter sweet more the former than latter
I’m a memory that one day will not matter
If you think of me at all when you look back
Well, don’t think of me, don’t think of me at all
‘Cause I don’t wanna be in your memory
Holdin’ you back from everything or anything that you ever did want
You won’t have me in reality
So we should agree, mutually, not to haunt each other
And just let it go. . .
But if we find this all too difficult well, we can always blame it on love
Cause it’s bitter sweet more the former than latter
I’m a memory that one day will not matter
If you think of me at all when you look back
Well, don’t think of me, don’t think of me at all

If you didn’t want me to think of you, you’d not tell me not to. You’d not say anything.

==Just Leave

Standing on my front porch cause it just wont seem right
to let you back into the space we shared, the space we shared.
You say maybe in a week you will come back by
and get the things you might have left in there. Left in there but
Oh, this all seems to be a bit too much for me
Oh, I just wanna run away back to you empty arms get away from me, please
I don’t understand how we didn’t make the best of this
Yet, we’ll find someone who makes us better than we were
Maybe it’s not about us maybe it’s about all our sins
The lies we told ourselves and truths we hid from one another
Oh, this all seems to be a bit too much for me
Oh, I just wanna run away back to you empty arms get away from me, please
I know I need get along and move along - love’s like water
you gotta let it flow
And I know that you’re not even what I want
But I just can’t let us go
Standing on my front porch cause it just wont seem right
to let you back into the space we shared
Oh, this all seems to be a bit too much for me
Oh, I just wanna run away back to you empty arms get away from me, please
Just leave. . .

Yes, just leave. But, don’t go too far?

==Pinnochio Wishes

Well, there’s something to be said for those who can lie
And get away with it so much easier than I.
It’s a blessing, truth’s a curse and it hurts the ones it hits.
So, I want to be free of it.
But I wish that once I could say, “I’m not in love”
And have it be believed.
And I told the truth, lived in honesty enough
And it never set me free so now I need to convince me
There’s some part of me cheers for those who can hide
Behind facades and never have to show us who they really are
I’m not lookin to deceive anyone else so much as I
I wanna mislead myself before I let what’s real go too far
. . .
Oh, here it comes, can’t control it now
Can’t hide how I really feel
Oh, here it comes, can’t control it now
Why can’t I say it and make it real?
But I wish that once I could say, “I’m not in love”
And have it be believed.
And I told the truth, lived in honesty enough
And it never set me free so now I need to convince me


My nose grows and I’m the only one who knows

==S.U.A.K. Me

All this dancing ‘round the subject ain’t doing nothin but makin’ us tired
We can be discreet in public but why should we pretend in private
Can’t think straight your mind is wanderin’ starin’ at my lips like they are sugar made
Do those things you’re likely ponderin’ or stop your self and till I drift away
When I’m gone, you’re gonna miss me
When I’m gone you’re gonna wish you’d stepped up
You don’t want to resist me - Nah, you’re sweet enough but it’s time you just
Shut up shut up shut up and kiss me
Are you wonderin’ who’ll be peepin, Oh the things that people talk about
In your blood the thought is creepin’, Will you act on it before I walk out
Ask me what if, inquire what’s next,
Moments aren’t so great for holdin
Beg the question can we deal with it, And there’s a reason silence is golden
. . .
And I’ve said enough

Sure, it’s moral to keep your lips to yourself.
It just seems immoral to pretend that’s what you want.

==The Sun

I’ve never been the science type
But I’m pretty sure I can tell the day from night
And astrophysics might sail over my head
But I know what I know, even if I can’t explain it
And some things I say might not make sense but
Someone turns off the sun, every time you go away
Someone turns off the sun, so for you I will wait in the dark
Galileo may argue and he might seem right
But he never toiled in the darkness to be kissed by the light
Well I was and those lips told me what was true
The old man got it wrong, the world revolves around you
And some things I say might not make sense but
Someone turns off the sun, every time you go away
Someone turns off the sun, so for you
I will wait in the dark

The problem with waiting in the dark isn’t the dark,
it’s how much you miss the light!

==Holdin’ On

I guess summer’s come cause it’s hot as hell and it’s only March
I hate the weather in this God forsaken town
And there’s nowhere that I wanna go don’t wanna drive my car
Anyway, drank my gas money down
And to make things worse I’m thinkin’ about
Makin’ things worse thinkin’ about
Holdin’ on to somethin’ that I never really had
Holdin’ on to a dream of you that sifts sand through my hands
Everyone says it’s just a fling I gotta let it go
I suppose maybe they’re right, they’re right, they’re always right
But I didn’t think so I didn’t ask and I’ll probably never know
If we had anything real that night
And to make things worse I’m thinkin’ about
Makin’ things worse scheming about
. . .
Oh I suppose for control I should forget that night
Ah but, Girl, I just don’t know if I’m the quittin’ type
So I keep holdin’ on
Holdin’ on to somethin’ that I never really had,
Holdin’ on to a dream of you that sifts; sand through my hands

Does it count, as a lie, if you know it’s not real but you pretend it is anyway?

==Found You

I thought that before I’d been doing fine
I was wanting for nothing, no worries on my mind
Didn’t know I was lonely till I missed your call
Never knew I missed anything at all
They say you can’t miss what you never had
I never knew I was lacking something so good so bad
Oh, that Ignorance is bliss thing must be true
‘Cause I didn’t know I was lost till I found you
No one told me I was sick till you gave me your cure
Now I’m wondering’ if I was ever well before
Thought I was rocking along being where I wanted to be
Then here you come with that smile that finally set me free
They say you can’t miss what you never had
I never knew I was lacking something so good so bad
Oh, that Ignorance is bliss thing must be true
‘Cause I didn’t know I was lost till I found you
Everything’s so upside down
To think I thought I had it all figured out
But I wouldn’t trade a minute would not go back a day
Cause life wasn’t life without you anyway
What I didn’t know was killing me, it’s true.
‘Cause I didn’t know I was lost till I found you


Whatever you do, don’t look honestly at your lonely. . .

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Reviews


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Dori

Awesome Performance
Love, love, loved hearing this music live! But if you can't do that...Buy the album :-)
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Amber Dixon

Awesome!
Jefferson has definitely sang the words of many people's hearts. He beautifully sings what many of us have felt, heard, or said in our lifetime. I love to curl up listening to his music and a nice glass of wine with this fantastic CD.
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Becca

Great songs!
I enjoyed all the songs on this album.
Jefferson really shows his talent with writing lyrics and music.
I especially like "Just Leave."
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Megan M.

Easily the best album I've bought in a long, long time
There isn't a song on this album I don't like, and it's very, very hard for me to find that! Jefferson has a great voice, and a way with words that can speak to anyone!
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