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MagellanMusic | Phanus Phallus Phobias - Greatest Sh!ts!

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Folk: Angry Folk: Modern Folk Moods: Mood: Funny
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Phanus Phallus Phobias - Greatest Sh!ts!

by MagellanMusic

Musical satire/comedy in NO uncertain terms.
Genre: Folk: Angry
Release Date: 

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  Song Share Time Download
1. Tobacco
0:40 $0.59
2. Mary Jo Kopechne
2:24 $0.89
3. The Journey To Dallas
5:54 $0.89
4. Gimme Jimmy
2:00 $0.89
5. 500* of (C not F) Hot Vinyl
2:52 $0.89
6. Russia
2:29 $0.89
7. Pants
3:54 $0.89
8. Puke O' Paducah
1:56 $0.79
9. I Smell Rank
2:04 $0.89
10. Ronnie
3:12 $0.89
11. Boris the Pterodactyl
0:57 $0.49
12. The Asshole Hall of Fame
3:29 $0.89
13. No Mo' Cigamoes
2:58 $0.89
14. Quayle Huntin'
3:58 $0.89
15. The Telephone Pole Song
2:13 $0.89
16. There's A Stranger In My Butt
2:59 $0.89
17. Pardon Me, I'm Gonna Be Sick
1:22 $0.79
18. ...huh?
0:28 $0.49
19. Guys With Ties
2:51 $0.89
20. Welfare Sluts
2:23 $0.89
21. I Can't Afford To Puke
2:41 $0.89
22. Backdoor Baby
3:17 $0.89
23. Billy Boy
3:28 $0.89
24. Mr. Dithers
1:13 $0.59
25. I Kissed A Frog And My Ass Turned Green
1:05 $0.59
26. The Toilet
0:36 $0.49
Downloads are available as MP3-320 files.


Album Notes
Dear Beulah,

It was/is a lovely island. I told my shoe to take a left turn one day and I sat on a bench. I was only in Court for 30 minutes. Hell, that was 1934! Just think if I had Kleptomania on Wednesdays!

Whether has been strange; you order eggs, they come scrambled. Then it rained, and it smelled weird; I almost looked purple. Sounded like a good album title won't it? Rain Purple. If it fit I'd smoke it.

Busses here are pretty weird too. When I asked me where it was going I said, "Guess." The Bus said, well... it just kept staring. So I said, "Ok." I took a taxi to the next street corner. That's when I walked into the coffee shop and had a Pepsi backward (drawkcab ispeP). Nice painting they had on the wall by the front door - it looked just like what was outside. (My elbow scratches) I heard some rocks too, but they weren't. I like Rock, so I eight a Roll. Phanus Phallus Phobias sounds like a wart, but they are my favorite fans (especially on a hot. Day).

When that airplane flew over I waved. Anyway, as I was walking down the street the telephone rang. Nobody was in the booth. It rang and rang and rang. After about 10 rings (when I'd lost count at 20) I picked it up and said, "Hello?" He sounded American because I couldn't understand what he said, something like "Ngot". So that's what I told him, "You've ngot the wrong number." I hung up.

It reminded me of the time I'll be leaving soon.

I'll be home when this letter arrives, so I'll check it for errors before you open it again. If I could come home by mail (or femail) I'd be flat wouldn't it? Okay.




to write a review

Allen Barry

This one is hard to believe
I listen to all kinds of music but this one may be a first. I've never heard anything that could combine clever songs with an in-your-face attitude a la folk. Mary Jo Kopechne was almost like a news story, Journey To Dallas is a classic tale of the road, Russia is a parody of the crazy anti-USSR effort in those days, Telephone Pole Song is a satire of Husband vs. Wife battles, Backdoor Baby is heavy metal and describes a porno movie - amazing stuff. But that was only the beginning; everything from liner notes to background to acknowledgements to an image on the back cover that said, "Danger: Uranus" is as funny as the music itself. Somehow it reminds me of the Wizard of Oz when those weird characters sing, "A brain, a heart, da noive" - I think this CD is packed with it.

Brendon Sinclair

Phearlessly phoul brand of pholk
Greatest Sh!ts! is 27 years worth of twisted tracks by a notorious Folk/Joke band... a truly scattered collection of songs that few would dispute as lewd, juvenile, and outright repulsive. But depending on your sense of humor they could also qualify as irreverently clever, musically ambitious, and very funny. There's also an articulation of a simmering anger - disenfranchised socio-political outrage. As Jensen says, it can be encapsulated by Peter Finch's performance in the 1976 film Network, and his impassioned plea to the world, I'm Mad As Hell And I'm Not Going To Take This Anymore! That handily plays into the bands big payoff... merely the reaction of the audience. They say it best with Pullin' Down The Pants Of Life.

Jann Jackson

Don't bother with Orkin
At first I hated this thing. There are songs about Ronald Reagan, Edward Kennedy, Jimmy Carter, Dan Quayle, Russia, Bill Clinton - don't these guys keep up with current events? Then there's songs about weed, a long road trip, a city they hate, an asshole hall of fame, cigarettes, a nasty lover-break-up, getting shot to death for singing somebody elses song (I think that's what it was), welfare cheaters, getting sick from a hangover, sickening executives, vomiting with the Partridge Family, a very long pee, high cost of living, political corruption, medical malpractise, stupid fables, and even anal sex! Maybe they need an insane asylum, or a complain-about-life-as-we-know-it TV show. I give it 4 stars because even if I didn't like it it still got my attention, held it, I couldn't stop laughing, and I find myself humming some of those songs. How did they do that? This CD is like a giant termite - it bored through my defense and made me admit (as much as I didn't want to) that I like it a hell of a lot.


I don't need to write a review of any one part of MAGELLAN MUSIC. I've know VLAD for over thirty years and been there from the conception of quite a lot of the music. His touch made a lot of the great sounds. A sounding board has got nothing on me. I've always thought that this stuff is some of the funniest/left of center/offbeat/ underground music I've ever heard. Despite everything, there are very fond memories.


Still laughing.
Wonderful! I have laughed and laughed while listening to every song. Mix comedy, tunes and disregard for the norm and you get the works on this cd. It is great!

Tim Faber

Psychologist to the front desk please!...
Did Phanus Phallus Phobias check out of the Hotel of Reality? Did they overdose on DSL instead of LSD? All I can say is that Phanus Phallus Phobias may be hard to get used to because they are very, very weird! Their honest self-admission of rude and crude couldn't be more accurate, but still so funny it's hard to keep the smile off your face. Life As We Know It is the overall subject material here, and they're like blind boxers swinging at everything in sight. It's a listening experience completely unlike what you're used to hearing, probably, so consider a radiation suit when you put the CD in, just to be sure, and be prepared to either be sickened by it or laugh your head off. I really think we have a classic with this one.

The Soundshop

Yes, this is definitely a joke...
At first I wasn't sure what to make of this insanity, until it dawned on me that that is exactly what it's supposed to be. I've heard a lot of strange things in my time, but this is near the top of my charts. It's Folk oriented, with some Rock thrown in, and some things that don't have a description, so maybe the best way to describe the contents of this is it starts with a belch, then ends with a toilet flushing; what lies between is filled with expletives and bodily noises as well. This is some of the funniest, most refreshing, most original stuff I've heard in ages, sort of George Carlin set to music. I strongly recommend this for anyone who likes laughing a lot, just don't let your kids hear it!

Havel Media

Side-Splitting Hilarity!!!
My sides still hurt. I haven't laughed this hard since the last time I saw Phyllis Diller in concert! This CD has it all: Funny songs, stupid songs, grotesque sound effects, rude comments, weirdness... Phanus is THANKFULLY and JOYFULLY "politically incorrect!" If you like to make your friends laugh, put this CD in and watch their eyes bug out!

Beth Martin

Phanus Phallus Phobias
Okay - this is the most ridiculous, silly, demented, weird, hilarious, stupid, side-splitting, thing I've ever heard. You were certainly fascinated with bodily sounds. Unbelieveable! Hahahahahaha!

Lancaster Publications

Too many words apply
It says Magellanmusic, but who is Phanus Phallus Phobias? Are they actually out of jail like they claim? Maybe so, this stuff is bizarre! I kept trying to listen to the music but I kept laughing because the music doesn't matter. I made note of several songs that were best of all, but that doesn't matter either. This is some of the funniest, most realistic, most down to earth music I've heard. They make use of inventive lyrics with memorable tunes, and ravage all of it cleverly with expletives and body sounds - rude to say the least. I doubt the ladies are going to like it, but for all the guys out there, put it in your collection.