Polly and the Pear Tree Partridges | The 12 Daze of Christmas

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The 12 Daze of Christmas

by Polly and the Pear Tree Partridges

This isn't your grandma's Christmas album (unless your grandma is ultra-hip and likes explosions, rap, bluegrass, funk, punk, lutes, teeth, and rude guitars)!
Genre: Holiday: Kids/Family
Release Date: 

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  Song Share Time Download
1. Are You Ready?
2:38 $0.99
2. Get Up, Santa!
3:51 $0.99
3. Greensleeves
0:53 album only
4. Christmas Wrap
2:56 $0.99
5. Tree-Trimmer's Lament
3:27 $0.99
6. I Saw Santa Meet the Tooth Fairy
3:49 $0.99
7. Divisions On Greensleeves
1:47 $0.99
8. Your Name
4:33 $0.99
9. Music Box #1: Sweetie Pie
4:02 $0.99
10. Christmas Jinx (Ho Ho Ho)
1:45 $0.99
11. Bluegreensleeves
3:00 $0.99
12. Music Box #2: Goodnight
2:28 $0.99
Downloads are available as MP3-320 files.


Album Notes
Christmas: It's a bell-driven industry.

Big bells, little bells. Teeny tiny bells, insidious ear-splitting bells. The bells.............the bells.......

It's also the most stressful time of year. The lights, presents, lawn ornaments, cards, baking - a frenzy to do more than is humanly possible. It can turn a wonderful holiday into sheer mayhem! Combine that with the fact that your inner child (or your outer child if you're actually a child) is too wound up to sleep most of the time, it can leave you in a Daze.

But there is a solution...

Embrace the lunacy (and the relentless, crushing onslaught of bells) with a heavy dose of distorted guitars, fun grooves, lutes, horns, incompetent (w)rappers, smokin' banjos, really bad jokes, and sweet lullabies!! Fortunately for you, these are the things that Polly and the Pear Tree Partridges do the best.

Polly and the Pear Tree Partridges are here to help you enjoy the good, laugh at the bad, and toss the ugly parts of the holiday right out the window! It's an EXPLOSION of styles, comedy and talent which constantly brings the unexpected. We hope you enjoy it as much as we enjoyed making it for you.


Who is Polly?
Why, she's the one, the only, the fantastic, the lovely, the talented Polly Maynard of Denton, Texas. Mom, guitar virtuoso, actress, teacher, and everyone's friend. She's also a major rock star on lute, classical guitar, vocals, and piano. She's such a rock star that she gets top billing!! And with this crew that's sayin' a lot!!

So, who are the Pear Tree Partridges?
The shorter list is who they aren't, but here goes:
Dave Randolph - Guitars, bass, vocals, raps, elven voices, bells, rude noises, organs, bones, and rock and roll.
Kevin Zahner - Drums. Thunderous, pounding drums.
Bubba Hernandez - Polka bass. You'll swear it's a tuba. Genius.
Paige Jackson - Backing vocals. She's the "gotta get it wrapped" girl.
Joe Cripps - Conga, tambourine, spoons, lagerphone. He begged his parents to become a doctor, but they forced him to play congas.
Jeffrey Barnes - Saxes, clarinets, bell-type things (remember, it's a bell-driven industry), harmonica, and the voice of Santa.
Kim Randolph - The "Are You Ready?" mom, the lament girl, and the voice of Merry Berry, the Tooth Fairy.
Barry Watson - Who knew the Producer of The Dragonball Series could rap? First there was 2Pac, then there was Dr. Dre, now there's DJ Bumbling B, bustin' loose with the Christmas madness.
Danny O'Brien - The highest trumpet notes ever heard.
David Pierce - The 'bone that puts the fun back in funk.
Chad Huffhines - That raspy sound that hair-metal has to have.
Gerald Jones - It started out as a banjo, but was a pile of smoking rubble when he'd finished recording. (Seriously... it looked like stormtroopers had ransacked the Skywalker farm. I'm not kidding...)
Dave Shaw - Pounded out the bass behind Gerald's banjo madness. Not a job for the faint of heart. Or a jawa.
Richard Haskins - Brought the punk (guitar, bass and vocals) and made us all laugh. A lot.
Jonah Randolph - Didn't like the hair metal and so he cried until music-box Polly put him to sleep.
Amelia Watson, Cooper Randolph, Ethan Randolph, and Sylvia Watson - Kid vocals, squeals, laughs, bumps and thumps.
The Icky-Sticky Goo Singers - Polly Maynard, Jesse Woolery, Dave Randolph, and Kim Randolph.

I'm feeling Dazed. What are the 12 Daze of Christmas?

Daze #1: "Are You Ready" - Let's say you're two years old and Christmas rolls around. It can be a very confusing time, what with socks on the chimney, wooden people in the yard, and endless pestering from grownups asking you if you're ready. It's no way to live, that's for sure. It's also the origin of the secret phrase, "Bell-driven industry" (seriously, no skimping on the bells here...)

Daze #2: "Get Up, Santa!" - Whoa ... Santa is about to oversleep. Can the elves wake him up in time? Who knew Mrs. Clause was such a fly old-timer? Featuring members of Brave Combo and an all-star cast of elves, reindeer, and kids, this song defies you not to dance. Seriously, it triple-dog-dares you to get up and shake it.

Daze #3: "Greensleeves" - Alas. Although beautifully played by the lovely and talented Miss Polly Maynard on her amazing lute, it's just too traditional for this album. We had to blow it up.

Daze #4: "The Christmas wRAP" - Rappers can rap, but can they WRAP a present? Apparently not. Follow the struggles of DJ Bumbling B as he attempts to wrap presents in time for Christmas. Just remember... you gotta get it wrapped before the reindeer fly - and tape can be very sticky!

Daze #5: "Tree Trimmer's Lament" - Never, ever, ever re-use last year's string of Christmas lights.

Daze #6: "I Saw Santa Meet the Tooth Fairy" - Full name: Merry Berry. Occupation: Tooth Fairy. Passion: Teeth -- even If it means she's got to retrieve it on Christmas Eve! Follow the full saga of the tooth and the once-in-a-lifetime meeting in this
amazing polka featuring an all-star horn section (arranged and performed by Jeffrey Barnes), and the incredible Bubba Hernandez on bass guitar (you'll swear it's a tuba), the Icky-Sticky Goo Singers, and of course, Merry Berry and Saint Nick.

Daze #7: "Divisions on Greensleeves" - Miss Polly goes 'old school' with variations on the traditional favorite (remember how we had to blow the first one up?) This time, we let it live (but if you want to make bomb noises at the end we're cool with that too).

Daze #8: "Your Name": It's really very simple: You're born, you get a name, and it goes on one of Santa's lists. Now
it's up to you to fight to be on the good list. It works best if you fight while wearing a hair weave and spandex. We're just sayin'...

Daze #9: "Music Box #1: Sweetie Pie" - Jonah didn't like the hair metal goodness of "Your Name" so he resorted to tears. Fortunately, we were able to stuff Miss Polly into an old Victrola to calm him down. Don't try this at home.

Daze #10:"Christmas Jinx (Ho Ho Ho)" - Some kids get a copy of "Sports Illustrated" signed by Leon Spinks. Some kids get socks.
It's a Christmas Jinx. There's currently no known way to break it.

Daze #11:"Bluegreensleeves" - Stand back when you crank this one. Gerald is on fire. Literally. I mean, it was a scene of destruction when he was done. It was the Fire Marshall that made him stop!

Daze #12:"Music Box #2: Goodnight" - It's Christmas Eve. Santa's on the way and you're wired. Let Miss Polly and the old-timey music box help you relax and have visions of sugar plums. The good stuff will be there in the morning.

The fine print:

Recorded and produced by Dave Randolph and Polly Maynard at Starr Sound studios in Corinth, TX.
For booking information please email pollyboo@airmail.net
All songs Copyright 2012 Polly Maynard. Licensed through BMI.
Remember... BDI (bell-driven industry).



to write a review

Sharon Barnhill

Amazing Holiday Music
This album is full of top-notch musical talent and clever, lively lyrics that deliver a new slant on holiday music. From fun and crazy to movingly beautiful, there is something for everyone on this CD.

Deborah Needleman Armintor

Best Christmas Album EVER.
Songwriting genius Polly Maynard and her insanely talented --and also just plain INSANE-- band of overtrained musical merrymakers take the "w" out of wrapping and put the funk back in frankinscence* (*that was before standardized spelling). You don't even have to be a kid celebrating Christmas to enjoy this brilliant, addictively funky, and laugh-out-loud hilarious album. I'm a 40-year-old Jewish adult, and I can't stop listening to this darn thing. My kids love it too. Oh yeah, and Greensleeves is just plain BEAUTIFUL. A+++++