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Steel Wolf | Embracing Mainstream Success

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Metal/Punk: Heavy Metal Rock: Hard Rock Moods: Mood: Fun
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Embracing Mainstream Success

by Steel Wolf

Ingredients: Crunchy guitars, spicy lyrics, Lithuanian piquancy. Won't get another brick in the stairway to free bird!
Genre: Metal/Punk: Heavy Metal
Release Date: 

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  Song Share Time Download
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1. Shoplifting Bananas
3:36 $0.99
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2. Himnas 2010
1:50 $0.99
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3. No Mercy Flush
4:30 $0.99
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4. My Grandma's Advice
3:21 $0.99
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5. Serving Beer To Miners
3:15 $0.99
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6. Hazardville Headlines
4:59 $0.99
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7. Terry's Tasty Taco
3:15 $0.99
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8. Gettin' It (From Both Ends)
4:09 $0.99
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9. Stinkfinger!
3:40 $0.99
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10. Depends On Me
3:33 $0.99
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11. I Want A 20-Piece
3:40 $0.99
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12. Spread the Love Mayonnaise
5:41 $0.99
Downloads are available as MP3-320 files.

ABOUT THIS ALBUM


Album Notes
"Steel Wolf is a band of longstanding Long Island rockers who have played everywhere from the birthplace of punk in the Bowery, CBGB, to the Lithuanian heritage camp Neringa, located in Vermont. Although the group is proud of its Lithuanian heritage, it is obvious by song titles such as "Spread The Love Mayonnaise" and "Shoplifting Bananas" that it still finds time to pile on the laughs in a saucy manner that should get many a beer gut jiggling in laughter. [Soundwise, they] straddle the fence between the riff-heavy sounds of 70's British hard rockers and the raw urgency from punk rock days of yore. [Guitarist Paul ] Naronis has certainly studied the simple, effective tone of Tony Iommi on the early records of Black Sabbath while vocalist [Mark] Adomaitis harnesses a punk-driven roar that would have fit well in an early 80's L.A. punk club."- Tony Rettman, Good Times Magazine (9/1-14/09). Fluid drummer Al Kezys mixes in a Robin Zander-type vocal on "Serving Beer To Miners" which has received airplay on WHPC 90.3 X-treme Rock and WMJC 94.3 Unlabeled. Bass player Greg Szlezak holds down the bottom end. Check out the (spicy) lyrics for the new album...




SHOPLIFTING BANANAS

Hanging on the beach, bikini comes in sight,
Had a couple brews - he's not thinking right;
Next thing he knows he's got a face full of sand -
His wife thinks he ripped off the local fruit stand!

She's thinking that he was shoplifting bananas.
She said "Thou shall not steal -although its got appeal."

Drinking on the porch, what's coming down the street?
Tank top, tight jeans, stilettos on her feet;
Goes in the corner store, she's out of his life,
But he delivers fresh produce to his wife

Shopping the supermarket for a six-pack,
Sees some tight shorts at the magazine rack;
Grabs a newspaper so he can hide his bulge,
His wife sees this healthy snack and does indulge!

HIMNAS 2010

(The Lithuanian National Anthem)

NO MERCY FLUSH

You're taking care of Number One
By taking care of number 2-
The paperwork is almost done
But the stench you cannot undo-

First, you gush! Then,you crush
You give no mercy flush!
See them blush! What a rush!
They got no mercy flush!

Just taking a load off your mind
Losing ten pounds the easy way!
The best thing you will leave behind
Is your own signature bouquet!

Well, all you do is sit 'n' stink
People say you need a new goal!
Just for them all ideas you think
Are now left floating in the bowl!

MY GRANDMA'S ADVICE

My grandma was a genius, she taught me- oh so -well,
She told me "Do not horse around when riding the carousel!"
She also said "Don't shoot your mouth off when someones got a gun!" But I'm the fool cause I forgot the rule she called number one...

Don't ever mistake the urinal cake for a cookie!
Taste that bathroom disk and your obelisk wont find nookie!

I went drinking on an empty stomach in the hot noonday sun,
Had me thirteen malt liquors and seven shots of 151;
Ended up in an ambulance (That much info will suffice!),
I was so damaged and so famished I forgot grandma's advice

Well, them piss-pucks are chock full of paradichlorobenzene,
So I'm pretty damn lucky that I didn't yet meet that impaled Nazarene; Still, every girl thinks I'm a joke - might as well be sepulchered, My grandma cried,I almost died,I forgot her sacred word...

SERVING BEER TO MINERS

I'm rinsing mugs in the sink - miners are leaving work!
They're tired and wanna drink - their boss has been a jerk!
They use heavy machinery to extract iron ore!
Here, they enjoy the scenery with ice cold brew galore!
Who likes draft beer?

Serving beer to miners! Forever icy cold!
Serving beer to miners! Cannot deny fools gold!
Reserving those miners not twenty-one years old!

They step up and suck'em down, I appreciate the tips!
Sometimes I will buy a round and serve potato chips!
They track in soot, I dont care, they mine all day for coal!
All they ever wanna hear is real loud rock n roll!
Who likes Steel Wolf?

Working in a diamond mine - some of them have been trapped!
I always refill each stein until the keg is tapped!
I'm boozer friendly, heres proof - all have beer goggles on!
I let them sleep on the roof, cook'em breakfast at dawn!
Who likes fried eggs?!

HAZARDVILLE HEADLINES

Playgrounds strewn with broken glass,
Streets unsafe with oil slicks;
Rats reside in unkempt grass,
Forests filled with gnats and ticks

Screwed up down in Hazardville,
(Had a meeting with the man)
Riding o'l silver bullet:
Hold on, mama, if you can!
In back of a pick-up truck,
I come to you in the night;
Feel the warmth of your soft skin,
Hold on, mama, oh! so tight!

Trash causes sewers to clog,
Brushfires still burn and spread;
Asthma cases linked to smog,
Drinking water contains lead

Schoolyard filled with toxic waste,
Potholes up fifty percent;
Milk products have aftertaste,
Landlords keep on raising rent!

TERRY'S TASTY TACO

When I eat here I get gas.
It's all your fault!
What? He suggested tacos!
I'm talking about the gig.
Here we go.
Don't you know he wants to throw you out of the band?
I'm serious.
Pass the hot sauce.
What are you mad about?
He thinks we should've closed with a different song.
Didnt you order a ch-ch-ch chimichanga?
No, I ch-ch-ch changed my mind.
We should've closed with something that has punch.
All our songs have punch!
Yet the house band beat us.
Because they brought more people down.
Five or six.
Twenty or thirty. All those girls came down for them.
Those girls hang out there all the time!
So does the house band.
Terry doesn't hang out there all the time. Pass the hot sauce.
Terry isn't one of those girls.
What does Terry have to do with anything?
Hes in love with everything Terry.
So, it has nothing to do with talent?
Or lack of it.
Whats that supposed to mean?
The house band could've gotten up there, eaten tacos and still have probably won.
What about Terry's taco?
Then they would have definitely won!
Hey, did you know that the house bands singer does commercial jingles professionally?
Yeah, their drummer was telling me about it. That digital clock one!
What did the digital clock say to his mother?
What? What?
Look, ma! No hands!
Thats the kind of song we should write!
Are you kidding me? That DJ said that she gets requests for us all the time on her show!
Yes, we know that. But you make those requests.
Are you suggesting we embrace a new-found desire for mainstream success?
I suggest you guys embrace what I told you yesterday.
I thought you were drunk!
No, you were drunk.
You're really gonna record a solo album?
Yup!
That's cool!
I'm surprised you remember.
I wasn't as drunk as this guy. Maybe we can be your back up band.
Maybe not!
Better still, how about touring together?
No way!
And Terry's Tasty Taco can sponsor the tour.
Now, you're talking!
Shut up!
What's up with you, man?
Now he cant throw me out of the band!
Can we say thats what happened?
What have you got to say about all this?
He's eating.
I'm wondering who you can get to play on your album.
I'll ask the guy who books the rehearsal studio.
That's not a bad idea.
Oh, now I have a good idea?
Maybe you can win the next battle of the bands with him!
Wipe your face. You have hot sauce all over it.
You eat like a caveman!
Can you pass a napkin?
I think you'll need more than one.
Thanks. Well, I tell you this. It just doesnt matter.
It doesnt?
You wanna know why?
No, but tell us anyway.
Because were all winners.
Who, me?
You, me, all of us!
What about Terry?
Definitely Terry.
I thought you'd say that.
Everyone's a winner at Terrys Tasty Taco!
Want my last one?
Hell yeah!
I gotta go the bathroom.
You can start working on your solo album in there!


GETTIN IT(FROM BOTH ENDS)

Wendy is a waitress at a local saloon,
Wide-smile customer asks her something about a spoon
And her boss wants a nice dish served up hot and just right;
The cure for a small tip is in her bed tonight!

'Cause shes getting it from both ends and shes ready to blow!
She needs a couple good friends along with her beau!

Frans a flight attendant on a long jumbo jet,
Mile high passenger heard she gives good headset!
And the cockpit wants service! Well, she is no airhead!
Cure for a bumpy ride is a night in her bed!

She said "Take this job and shove it! I cant stand the harassment!"
He said "Take my knob and love it!" - 'Cause thats how much her ass meant!

Tammy is a teacher with an oversized class,
Class clown 'n' principal are both pains in the ass!
Gails a gospel singer! Kathys a crack whore!
Theyre getting it from both ends but theres room for one more!

STINKFINGER!

There's a game played in junior high school,
It's learned right after the golden rule:
Do unto others to make them moan;
That's why all kids want a hands-free phone!

Her little wiggle becomes a wink
Now you get some fingerstink!
A heavenly stench laced with feremone;
Givin you a wrench - Work it to the bone!

Everyone plays at sleep away camp!
Down at the fishin hole shorts get damp!
Someone sticks a thumb up, says Smell this!
Aroma of trout with a hint of piss!

Her little dribble becomes a drink
See it on your face- You were stuck at first;
Got to second base- Smells like liverwurst!

Kids aint privy to this wet, sweet dream!
Thirty-one year olds still enjoy high screams!
Cherry's plucked from the banana split,
As for the whipped cream theres no limit!

Your little pickle gets in the pink
Wanna get a job? Give it to the boss!
Polish up your knob! With that creamy sauce!

DEPENDS ON ME

Nobody understands
Nobody comprehends
Why, underneath my pants
I choose to wear Depends!
Come in many sizes
Theres even his and hers
I don't want surprises
In my adult diapers!

D P N D S - O N M - E
My license plate says: Depends on me!
Just had to leave out some of the vowels
Don't need to leave when I move my bowels!

I'm not incontinent
Guess you know what that means
It's not inherited
Doesn't run in my jeans!
Go wherever I choose
And if youd like I might
Show you that I consumed
Corn on the cob last night!

Don't have control issues
I surely hold my own
Still use toilet tissues
But dont sit on the throne!
Have a working bladder
I wear Depends by choice
It's a fecal matter
In which I do rejoice!

I WANT A 20-PIECE

I really want quadruple bass,
I really want six mounted toms;
I want two snares just because
And I want a set of octobons!

I want a thirty-inch magnum crash,
I want four Chinese gongs;
I want a seven-inch little splash
And I want a rack of rototoms!

(Halloos inspired by Paul Stanley.)

I want a twenty-piece drum set!


SPREAD THE LOVE MAYONNAISE

I challenged my town dry cleaner
To extract a tough trouser smear;
After checking in her guide book
She whispered, "Please come in the rear."

This stain is truly uncommon
How did it ever come to be?
I gave some lame explanation
She winked and replied knowingly...

I love mayonnaise with hard salami
Sandwiched between buns hot as pastrami!

The time for lunch came upon us,
Swiftly, she flipped the Open sign;
She asked if Id help her catch-up,
I told her Id relish the time!

A miracle whipped off her clothes,
Her body was tanned spicy brown;
But I forgot my condiment
She walked out in a dressing gown!



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